oldcoottest

Old Coot Test

1.Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. T F
2. Having sex in a twin bed is no longer an option. T F
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. T F
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. T F
5. You sing along with the elevator music. T F
6. You watch the Health Channel. T F
7. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. T F
8. Your back goes out more than you do. T F
9. Jeans and a button shirt no longer qualify as "dressed up". T F
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't
turndown the stereo. T F
11. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. T F
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. T F
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. T F
14. You feed your dog Iams instead of McDonalds leftovers. T F
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. T F
16. You get propositioned by AARP. T F
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. T F
18. Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep. T F
19. Your ears are hairier than your head. T F
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff". T F
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. T F
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that
much again". T F
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. T F
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. T F
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to
you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch
of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same! T F

Remember these

Candy cigarettes 
Wax coke-shaped bottles with
colored sugar water inside 
Soda pop machines that dispensed
glass bottles 
Hoola hoop contests 
Coffee shops with tableside juke
boxes 
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry
chewing gum 
Home milk delivery in glass
bottles, with cardboard stoppers

Telephone party lines 
Newsreels before the movie 
P. F. Flyers 
Butch wax 
Telephone numbers with a word
prefix .... (Drexel-5505) 
Peashooters 
Howdy Doody 
45 RPM Records 
Green Stamps 
Hi-fi's 
Metal ice cube trays with levers

Mimeograph paper 
Blue flash bulbs 
Beanie and Cecil 
Roller skate keys 
Cork pop guns 
Drive ins 
Studebakers 
Wash Tub wringers 
The Fuller Brush man 
Reel-to-reel tape recorders 
Phonographs 
The "twist", "mashed potatoes",
and "funky-chicken" 
15 cent McDonald hamburgers & 10
cent fries 
35 cent-a-gallon gasoline 
When the first man walked on the
moon 
When Elvis Presley first appeared
on the Ed Sullivan show 
When the Beatles arrived 
If you can remember most or all
of these, then you are An Old
Coot. 

If either of these is your
current pinup
then you are an old coot!!

Take a few minutes to take the
following true/false test:
* Less than 10 true= You're not in
danger, yet.
* 10 to 15 true= You're borderline,
not much longer
* More than 15 true=
Congratulations, you're an old coot!

Old Coots on Scoots
Chapter 43
Rio Rancho New Mexico